Rumi was a 13th-century Persian poet, Islamic scholar, theologian, and Sufi mystic. He is perhaps one of the most famous of the Persian poets and once wrote:   

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“Listen to silence. It has so much to say”

 

For our purpose of encouraging your child’s communication, we can rewrite Rumi’s quote:

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“Listen for your child’s words in your own silence. They have so much to say!”

 

It is common for adults to talk too much during their interactions with children. We narrate our actions: “I’m going to get the puzzle and then sit down”.

 

We narrate the child’s actions: “Are you playing with your brother? You look like you’re having fun”.

 

And we give instructions and praise, all of which take up sound-space.

 

And while each of these types of communication are useful and have a place in the parent-child relationship, if you don’t pay attention to how much you talk, you can unintendedly dominate the sound-space so much that there isn’t much room for your child to talk.

 

Ironically, in your desire to promote more interaction by being animated, enthusiastic, and acknowledging, you might limit the opportunity for them to communicate.  This week, try a 10-minute and then a 20-minute period of complete silence during your interactions with your child. Depending on if you feel comfortable in doing so, you may then try another 20-minute silent period.

 

The purpose of this silence is:

 

1. To create some sound-space for your child to fill with their own sounds and words.

2. To create a period of auditory rest during which your child doesn’t have to process your language, but instead can have time and space for their brain to think of words they want to say.

3. To give you, the parent, an opportunity to deeply listen and to get comfortable with talking less.

 

Silence is Golden.

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Embrace the silence, and enjoy this week!