If your autistic child glances quickly at their toy shelf during play time, you could interpret this as a “tell” that they might want something from the shelf. 

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Jump up, and stand by the shelf to demonstrate how receptive you are to communicating and how helpful you want to be for them!

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Another example is the direction in which someone looks which can often “tell” you what they are interested in. Other “tells” include :

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• Body position. Similar to eye contact, how a person positions their body most often relates to where their interest is. We usually face toward what our brains are thinking about. Body position can also give clues about a person’s physical and sensory needs. A child seeking tactile texture might sprawl out belly-on-the-floor, for example.

 

• Hands and fingers. A child might be sitting still, leaning against a wall, and apparently doing nothing, yet they could be rubbing their fingertips lightly on their shirt fabric. This is a micro-behavior that tells you what the child might be focused on. You can use this “tell” to offer them another textured fabric to feel to create more rapport with them.

 

• Breathing rate. The rise and fall of the chest can indicate a faster or slower heart rate. It can be an indication of their alertness, their emotional state, or if they’re relaxed versus excited. You can use this “tell” to decide if they are ready to interact or need a break. 

 

This week, pay extra attention to your child’s micro ‘tells” as a way to gain insight into their receptivity, motivation, interests, and subtle communications. Use your Eagle Eye!

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While you don’t want to interpret their behavior to the extent that they no longer need to use language, you can use this extra behavioral information to make micro-decisions when you try to gain more interaction and rapport. 

Remember, every day is a new opportunity for growth.