So there we were in a big stadium standing beside our assigned athlete who was quadriplegic, and reclined back in a wheelchair to help his breathing. He had very little control of his muscles, and was non-speaking. But the first thing that struck anyone who met him was his huge smile. And on this day, this teenage athlete was super happy to be at the starting line of the special olympics shot put!

We placed the heavy metal shot put ball in his hands. It sunk into his lap because his thin arm muscles could barely hold on.

Then without coordinating, the other two volunteers and I began to cheer him on. We cheered to encourage his effort and we cheered to celebrate every micro movement he made toward pushing forward and releasing the metal ball.

And for the next five minutes this special athlete dug deep, expending every ounce of energy he could to lift the shot put about an inch off his lap. We celebrated as if he had already won gold! We cheered that he clasped his fingers around the ball. We celebrated when he began to straighten his elbows slightly to move the shot put forward in his lap. And we exploded with enthusiasm when he released his grip to let the shot put ball roll off his lap onto the ground just inches from his wheelchair.

The young athlete beamed the biggest smile I’ve ever seen. It was truly a beautiful moment for all of us.

The “O Factor”

Looking back, I suppose there was equal parts of sincere appreciation for the effort the quadriplegic athlete put out and of optimism. The volunteers, his coach, and fans in the stadium all believed in the possibility of a good outcome.

And in this particular case, none of us measured the outcome based on the distance the shot put ball went but on the effort and sense of accomplishment that the special athlete got out of the experience.

On that day, he was living his best life…at least from the size of smile on his face.

Research has proven over and over that choosing an optimistic outlook has more than psychological benefits. Dr. Segerstrom professor of Psychology and biostatistician at the University of Kentucky found that law students who were optimistic earned an average of $32,667 more than their glass-half-empty peers.

And parents who can imagine and articulate optimistic goals for their children take more direct actions to achieving those goals than parents who struggle with imagining a better future.

In other words, the mental and emotional exercise of optimism can lead to taking more constructive action towards your goals!

In 1898

So where does celebration fit in with optimism? Well, its behavior science 101!

In 1898 Edward Thorndike ran a series of animal friendly experiments by placing cats in a box where the cats had to figure out how to tap on a lever with their paws to open a small door and get to a plate of food. It took the cats on average about a minute or less to figure it out. But what Thorndike observed over many trials was that the cats got faster and faster, in some cases opening the lever in just a few seconds to then enjoy the food reward.

Thorndike concluded that the food acted as not only a motivator for the cats to figure out how to open the door, but also as a reinforcement. The food reinforced the effort the cats made to open the door. Thordike is known in the history of psychology as the one who discovered how reinforcement drives learning forward.

In my autism therapy practice, my team of therapists use cheering and celebrating to reinforce the effort and learning successes of the autistic children we support.

Celebrating effort and achievements drives learning forward!

And as our celebration leads to more learning, we feel more optimistic. And as we feel more optimistic, we have more motivation to keep trying, which inevitably leads to more success, and more celebration.

Deliberate Optimism

Optimism and celebration are codependent and intertwined - part of a deliberate cup-half-full, hope-generating cycle.  And yes, I just said “deliberate”. My therapist teams and the parents I coach consciously deliberately decide to look for little mini efforts and steps forward that they can celebrate. Even if the effort is fleeting.

Imagine if you’re teaching your child to hold a crayon or pencil for the first time and they even just look toward to crayon, we strategically yet sincerely get excited. We celebrate the effort that child made to just look and pay attention to the crayon!

We could just as easily dismiss this fleeting moment of attention as insignificant. Cup half-empty is easy to do. But we get invigorated and motivated by, on purpose, looking for things to celebrate!

A Culture of Celebration

And, by the way, we’ve created a culture of celebration in which it’s okay and acceptable to celebrate our own achievements and effort. Yep! We make space in meetings and emails to be proud of our own efforts. And we encourage parents to pause every day to acknowledge and cheer one good thing they did that day.

Today I celebrate that I took the extra time to write a little love note for my child’s lunchbox.

Today I acknowledge the effort I put in to drive my child to speech therapy.

Today I celebrate that even with no sleep and no help, I still got my kids to school and fed them dinner.

This week, I encourage you to A.I.M. for much more celebration toward your child and for yourself!  I dare you to kick-start the positive spin cycle of celebration and optimism with your autistic child.

Because, as Oprah Winfrey once said, “The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.”

Now, to support you even more, you can get one of my Free Parenting Courses!

And if you found this AIM interesting, please take one minute right now to forward it to another parent or educator who you think would enjoy it too.