"Updating our top story now, a gunman shot Arizona congress woman, Gabrielle Giffords and several others today at an outdoor event in Tuscan, Arizona. Congresswoman Giffords is a democrat just beginning her third term in the house. She is 40 years old and the wife of astronaut, Mark Kelly. Police have a suspect in custody, identified as 22 year old Jared Loughner. His motives remain unknown at this hour."

- Katie Couric, CBC News

Gabby Giffords was only one of 18 people shot, but she was perhaps the most famous. At the time, she was a leading politician pegged to potentially be a front-runner in the next presidential elections – bright, articulate, and well-liked by her colleagues on both sides of the Congress.

But, on that fateful January day, she was holding a meet-and-greet in the parking lot of a grocery store in Tuscon, Arizona and she was the assassin’s main target. 

He shot her within one-foot range with the bullet passing right through from the back of her head to the front. She was admitted immediately into brain surgery, had part of her skull removed, and was induced into a medical coma.

The prognosis was that she likely wouldn’t be able to speak, since the bullet had damaged the language center in the left brain hemisphere. Yet, almost miraculously, Gabby Giffords quickly regained consciousness and was stable enough to start intensive daily physical therapy and speech therapy.

Within two to three weeks she started to make some vowel sounds, and one month after the shooting, major news channels announced she said her first word. 

"It's a turning point in the amazing recovery of Gabrielle Giffords. On Monday, less than a month after suffering a gunshot wound to the brain, Giffords made a simple request. In an exclusive interview, Giffords Cheif of Staff told Katie Couric the congresswoman continues making rapid progress. Her recovery has truly been miraculous"

- CBS News

"I was having breakfast with her a few days ago, and she asked me for toast"

- Giffords Chief of Staff, Pia Carusone

Although Giffords’ had speech memory loss and major difficulty speaking, her now famous speech therapist Dr. Fabi Hirsch was incredibly committed to daily therapy with Giffords and in interviews lists several key factors as her recipe for success.

Dr. Hirsch used a variety of strategies including what’s called Melodic Intonation Therapy – which means speaking in musical intonation or a sing-songy voice. This lets the music center in the non-damaged right brain process the language, ultimately rewiring her brain to use the right hemisphere for speaking.

But Hirsch attributes much of Gabby’s remarkable recovery to an attitudinal approach she calls “The Move Ahead Philosophy” in which she and her patients don’t focus on the past but choose to envision a positive future. They also cheer and celebrate small achievements. And when the going gets tough and they hit a wall, they use humor and acceptance.

They acknowledge that rehabilitation is hard, and they relax into the journey, including the tougher moments. Along with the thousands of hours of speech sessions with Gabby Giffords, at the core of Dr. Hirsch’s success is an attitude of acceptance. Meeting seemingly impossible challenges without fear, without panic, and instead with hope and staying present.

What can we learn from the Move Ahead Philosophy? 

How can we use acceptance on our more challenging days?

Many years ago I was invited to a young family’s home to coach the parents through an upsetting dynamic. Their 3-year-old non-speaking autistic son, Cooper, avoided any physical touch. He wouldn’t allow his mother to hug him. He wouldn’t sit in her lap.

As she described this challenge to me, she teared up. She reached for a tissue to wipe the tears from her cheeks and looked down at the floor in silence for a minute. When I asked how she was feeling, she said:

“Sad…frustrated… and embarrassed… my own son won’t even hug me…”

It was clear she was judging not only the situation but also herself. She had felt rejected so many times by her son, that she had begun to internalize the hurt, blaming herself. And it was from this place of emotional discomfort and judgement that she would try each day to reach out to Cooper, to get him in her lap or arms. But Cooper would scramble away.

The parents had hired me to find a solution, so they were open to my feedback and recommendations. We took some video of their playtime with Cooper, and I was able to replay parts of the video for the mother in particular to see how in her desperate need to express affection to her son that she was grabbing him and moving against his will a bit.

I was also able to use the video to show the parents examples of Cooper avoiding certain kinds of sensory stimulation. I provided evidence that Cooper was very likely hyper-sensitive to tactile stimulation… that is, physical touch from his mother or father likely didn’t feel comforting like it does for most children.

So I asked Cooper’s mother if she wanted to do an experiment. 

The first step was for her to choose to feel more accepting. 

This meant for her to stop focusing her mind on the frustration of not getting the cuddles she craved, and instead trying to focus on being okay with whatever Cooper was doing in that moment. And accepting meant to stop judging herself. To be more forgiving and loving toward herself. I invited her to take a few minutes with her eyes closed to mediate if you will on feelings of acceptance.

Next, I coached her to sit still in the center of the room with her hands in her lap. She was instructed to not move, still like a statue, and especially to keep her hands in her lap if Cooper approached her. And, most importantly, to keep her thoughts focused on acceptance: “My son doesn’t share cuddles with me, he has his own reasons, and I can be relaxed and comfortable and present anyway.”

So there she sat in the center of the room, quietly and still. And it didn’t take long until Cooper decided to investigate! After only a few minutes he walked a full circle around his mother, then ran away! I whispered for her to stay put and to keep thinking accepting thoughts.

Cooper made a second tour around the room, but this time he stopped directly in front of his mom. He stood inches from her face. We all held our breath and watched with amazement, including his mother. She stayed absolutely still. Cooper looked at her face in a way that seemed like it was for the first time. And then, he leaned forward and kissed her lips softly and quickly. Then raced off out of the room.

His mother sat frozen in surprise but also joy. She had a huge smile. This was the first time she had received affection from her little boy who she loved so dearly.

The common thread in both of these special stories is the power of acceptance. 

When we shift our thoughts from fear to love, and from the past to the present, and from cup half-empty to cup half-full, our behavior also changes.

Cooper’s mother was able to sit still, to not reach out and grab her son largely because she was more present and more calm. And Fabi Hirsch was able to inspire Gabby during hundreds of hours of slow-moving progress by keeping her attitude focused on a “Move Ahead” philosophy. She too stayed present, and didn’t get stuck when the work got hard.

In my work with thousands of families, we practice the principle “Acceptance First, Change Second.”

I’ve found that parents and therapists and teachers are a thousand times more effective at guiding children to grow and learn when they first prioritize feeling comfortable and present.

The less pushy you are, the less frustrated you feel, the more present your mind is, the more effective you will be.

This week, A.I.M. your attitude toward acceptance

January 2026 marks fifteen years after the shooting, and Gabby and her husband, now Senator Mark Kelly, were interviewed on ABC television’s Good Morning America. 

Despite still dealing with aphasia language disorder and some physical paralysis, she continues to live life with self-determination and an incredible positive attitude every single day:

"What's your message Gabby to other people out there who have to start over?"

- Good Morning America

"Move ahead. Do not look back. I hope others are inspired to keep moving forward, no matter what!"

- Gabby Giffords