Kimberly:  I said "You know what? My kid can't go to therapy today, he slept maybe 2 hours last night. He has to go home and he has to rest."

Jonathan: "When I first sit down with a family, I almost always start with basic health... sleep, exercise, you know, does your kid have a digital addiction to watching too much T.V., is he drinking enough water, hydration... because you know as a medical professional - it's probably why you're focused on sleep as well - is because you could spend $50,000 on ABA and if your child isn't getting good sleep and isn't eating nutritious meals and isn't getting enough exercise and all of the other things, then they're showing up for that expensive but yet really important therapy and NOT able to fully maximize or benefit from it."

I want to pause here to highlight the key point: many autistic children aren’t ready for structured intensive learning when we want to introduce them to it.  To learn efficiently and effectively, without struggle, our brains have to be receptive, our bodies have to be regulated, our sensory system has to not be distracted or overloaded, and we have to have the physical energy to show up in an engaged way.

Hundreds of teachers, autism therapists, and educational shadows I’ve trained have all said the same thing: “I spend more than half of my time managing behavior - trying to get my autistic student just to sit still, to stop rocking, to stop humming, to not cover his ears..” and on it goes.

And the one key that they are all missing is to invest the time needed to PRIME students for learning. This means - to get their body, brain, and emotions in a more regulated state.

Instead of saying “It’s time to learn math” we need to ask every single time beforehand “Is this student’s brain and body and emotions receptive and regulated enough to learn math effectively right now?”  And if the answer is “No”, then as teachers and therapists, we should be trained with the skills like co-regulation and sensory integration and rapport building to facilitate autistic students to be more ready to learn — in my program we call this PRIMEing. We prime their brains and body and emotions. We get them ready to learn before we spend even a single minute on teaching.

Kimberly: "I think you're absolutely right. We try to add in all these extra things and all these expensive, lavish therapies, but we need to start with the basics and then 'what can I do at home so they're regulated before they even get there'?"

Jonathan: Kimberly! That's what ThriveGuide is! It's an early learning primer of things parents can do at home to get your child - we call it "PRIMING" - to get them ready to be able to show up at all of the amazing therapies and education programs and great professionals that are there to help. But how do you have your child show up to benefit from it? And so ThriveGuide is customized and personalized... this goal, this goal, this goal... for your specific child. It's not another autism program, it's not saying 'this is going to cover reading, writing, spelling, but if you do these things, your child would be ready to learn better"

Kimberly: "You know we homeschool, and I would just have Max sit at the desk, we'd have a to-do list. And he'd start rocking back and forth and tapping his desk and 'well we gotta get through the to-do list', so we'd just keep going. And then we'd end up in a full on meltdown, we'd be on the ground, and we'd be done with school for the day. And now I know that that swing is there swing is there because that's one of the inputs that Max needs and so if he starts just barely tapping on the desk, then I'm like 'okay let's finish our task that we're doing, then we're going to take a 5 minute break on the swing" and even that little break allows us so much more not only good, productive time, but even longer period of time when you put it all together. And I think that's still something that, we're getting closer and we're making lots of strides, but it's still something that we do need to build upon."

The real-life example that Kimberly just shared about what she figured out works best when homeschooling her autistic son Max is, I believe, a golden key to unlocking the learning potential of so many special children.

Kimberly discovered her own by trial and error what I designed the online parenting app ThriveGuide to do: that Max needed time and support to be ready to learn. In his case, she provided time for him to swing and to tap on the table. She was there with him, co-regulating, and building rapport.

This week, your AIM is to first be more aware of your child’s state of ‘readiness” or receptivity before you give them an instruction or a demand. Look first to see if their body, mind, and emotions are ready to listen and to respond.

Second, AIM to give you and your child even just a few minutes before any activity to PRIME them – to literally warm them up.. Even before daily self care routines.

Before getting them dressed in the morning, you can pause and give their physical body a little rub down - rub their arms and legs to bring their focus to their limbs. This can PRIME their physical body. Then maybe say a positive affirming statement out loud like “You are so good at getting dressed.” and “Today it will be easy for you to put your socks on by yourself.” These statements can PRIME their brains.

Kimberly: "Jonathan do you have anything else you'd like to add?"

Jonathan: "I would just say... get a copy of Kimberly's new book! Because she's telling you her journey, and all of her insights and everything she's learned. And if you're interested, you can get a copy of my book, Challenging the Myths of Autism. But Kimberly, what I wanted to say last is thank you for inviting me here. I love my conversations with you. And I wanna just recognize and acknowledge as a professional in the field, as a mom the stuff that you are doing to support other parents. You don't need to have more work on your plate, you've got 4 kids! And a full time medical career! But you're here doing a podcast, you're helping other moms, you just wrote a book to help other people, you do sleep training with parents, you're doing so much. So I guess, thank you for all the stuff that you're doing too to help parents and support other people! 

Kimberly: Thank you so much Jonathan!"

If you found this AIM useful, please leave a comment and a like. And check out the full podcast episode on Kimberly's channel here!

And until next time, I hope you AIM for something great!