The movie is one of my favorites, although I don’t recommend it as a movie for younger children. Even though it’s based on a children’s book, it explores adult-level themes of deep emotion, relationship dynamics, and ultimately contemplates growing up and letting go of childhood.

But what I love about the story and the animation is the wild imagination and playfulness!

Some say playfulness is a key to many things including good mental health, longevity, and social rapport.

Here is little Max again explaining to the beasts the silly powers he has and why he should be their king.

      Max: “Small is good. My powers are able to slip right through the cracks.

Monster: “And what if the cracks are closed up?"

Max: “Then I have a re-cracker which goes right through that!”

Monster: “And what if they have some sort of material that re-crackers can’t get through?”

Max: “Then I have a double re-cracker which can go through anything in this whole universe and that’s the end, and there’s nothing more powerful after that ever. Period.”

The First Secret

It’s this child-like imagination, allowing our adult selves to make-believe, and to enter into children’s play that we AIM for in my Integrative Multi-Therapy Program and that is infused in the amazing ThriveGuide parent training app.

And that’s the first secret to being playful: letting go of facts and what’s real in favor of pretending anything is possible. Don’t try to teach your child during play.

Remember, play isn’t fact-based, it’s fun-based!

The Benefits of Play

But play is more than just… well… fun!

It turns out, play can enhance and stimulate important learning.

Child Development researchers at Yale University concluded that “Play is important for building social competence and confidence.” and that “Pretend-play bridges the gap between real events in the changing world and imagination within one’s head” because, ”Play seems to serve as a buffer for children who often need to cope with change and digest baffling new experiences.”

Dr. David Whitebread is a developmental psychologist and the former Director of the PEDAL research centre the University of Cambridge in England. PEDAL stands for Play in Education, Development and Learning. Here is Dr. Whitebread in a lecture on the importance of play:

    “If you give children a really rich, play-based experience for the one or two years they are with you, you are changing the course of that child’s life for the rest of their lives. And we’ve got really strong evidence of that. Children who’ve had that experience compared to other similar children who haven’t are way more likely to get involved in criminal activity, they’re much more likely to finish up a successful academic career, a better paying job, and be able to establish and maintain friendships and intimate relationships and so on”.

In his lecture Dr. Whitebread referred to research that the strongest predictor of school readiness, in terms of language and cognitive development in children, was teachers hearing preschoolers  “Talk about fun activities at home”. In other words, the more a young child mentioned playing at home, the more likely they were to be better ready for school success.

The Second Secret

Now, let’s get back to Where the Wild Things Are!

Maurice Sendak, the children’s book author, shares some important values with our philosophy at ThriveGuide. Sendak once wrote that, “There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”.

This sentiment aligns well with one of the ThriveGuide apps’ goals, which is to create a space in your home where your autistic child, or any child, can play freely, without adult control.

And this is the second secret to being more playful: As an adult, to let go of any need to control. Let go of the need to control how a make-believe story unfolds.

Let go of wanting things to be logical. Let go of needing your child to do or say in your way.

Follow the Leader

Over 25 years of working directly with autistic children, I’ve found that one of the fastest ways to build rapport with an autistic child is by spending time in their play environment, taking an interest in their toys, and joining them in play in the way they prefer to play, even if they don’t play in typical ways you are used to.

And, in this play space during this play time, we recommend that you give your child control over their space and toys. This means, you don’t impose your ideas or your preferences. At least not in the beginning.

Your goal is to have a shared play experience in which they don’t have to limit their imagination or different ways of playing to satisfy your need to teach them or correct them.

Stop teaching and instead let your imagination come out to play!

The monster-like beasts in the Where the Wild Things Are movie love to play! For me, the movie stimulates my creative mind to think outside of the box. It’s like no-holds-barred play!

Prioritize Acceptance and Love

We can all agree that “a place where only the things you want to happen, happen” would include being unconditionally loved and not being judged for your different play ideas.

In the ThriveGuide, we remind and coach parents to prioritize a loving and accepting attitude toward an autistic child.

This week, your AIM is to play with no hesitation or limitations on your imagination!

If your child has a good sense of humor, be silly. If they like big gestures and animation, then try expanding your range of motion and be more animated with your hands and facial affect, for example. And if your autistic child enjoys physical play like spins and piggy back and tickles, then include lots of frequent physical play in your play sessions.

Now if you’ve found this week’s AIM interesting and helpful, please think of one other parent or professional you know who will enjoy it too. Then take one minute to forward it to them. And I’d love to hear your experience of being playful.

And please leave your thoughts or a question in the comment section. 

Learning Follows Play

However you get your imagination to come out and play, make a commitment today to show it and share it more with your child. 

Because play will follow, and learning follows play!

Enjoy the week!